You have a personal networking style.
If the idea of walking into a large mixer makes your stomach drop, it’s time to rethink what networking looks like for you. There’s no single right way to connect with others. If you prefer quiet, one-on-one conversations, your networking superpower might be the informational interview—a casual, twenty-minute coffee chat with a colleague. If you communicate best through writing, building a thoughtful presence on professional digital platforms might be your ideal starting point.
You can hold yourself back if you force yourself into a networking style that doesn’t feel real. If you act like a loud, outgoing salesperson just because you think that’s what networking is, people will notice it’s not genuine. This often leads to awkward moments, feeling tired, and connections that don’t last because they weren’t built on honesty.
To change this, think about your natural social strengths. If you’re a good listener, use that skill to ask thoughtful questions and let others share their stories. If you like structure, try joining small industry workshops or volunteer groups at work instead of big social events. When you use your strengths, networking feels less tiring and more like a real conversation.
The best network is one you can keep up with over time without feeling overwhelmed. A handful of real, strong connections is better than having hundreds of shallow ones. When you choose a style that fits you, networking becomes a habit that feels natural, boosts your confidence, and keeps you involved throughout your career.
The unwritten rules of the workplace.
Careerlog deconstructs them. New professionals curate them into their own work style. Coaches and managers incorporate them into ongoing development for clients and teams.
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Put these approaches into practice.
Let’s look at practical ways to create a lasting professional network that matches how you naturally like to connect with others.
“During my first month at the firm, I felt I had to go to a huge cross-department mixer. The room was crowded and very loud. I spent an hour making small talk, felt out of place, and left without any real connections. After seeing that this approach didn’t work for me, I emailed a senior manager to set up a quick, 20-minute virtual coffee chat. In that quiet setting, we had a real conversation about project workflows, and she later supported my placement on a major account the next quarter.”
DON’T push yourself to attend loud, chaotic networking events that leave you exhausted and anxious.
DO focus on short, targeted informational interviews or relaxed coffee chats where real conversations can happen naturally.
“I once memorized a flashy elevator pitch I found online and tried it on a visiting executive in the breakroom. It felt awkward, and he politely left after thirty seconds because it seemed forced. A few weeks later, I saw him again while finishing an inventory report. This time, I spoke honestly about a real challenge I was facing. We ended up talking for fifteen minutes because the conversation was about real work, not a performance.”
DON’T pretend to be a pushy salesperson or feel like you always have to pitch yourself to succeed at work.
DO be your real professional self and let honesty guide how you build lasting work relationships.
“I used to think I had to be the loudest in the room to stand out. At a department roundtable, I tried something different and focused on listening. I asked our technical lead a specific question: ‘I noticed your Q2 deployment layout solved a big lag issue; what was the biggest hidden variable you had to overcome?’ He shared a lot of valuable background, and later told my manager I was one of the most analytical and observant new hires.”
DON’T feel like you have to talk over others or dominate conversations to show your value.
DO use your listening skills and ask open-ended questions so your colleagues feel comfortable sharing their experiences.
“The Friday company happy hours always overwhelmed me, so I stopped going. I was worried this might hurt my visibility at work, so I looked for more structured options. I joined our office’s green-initiative task force. Since the committee was small and focused on real projects, I built strong, lasting relationships with two department directors—without ever having to go to a noisy bar.”
DON’T go to random, unstructured social events hoping to just bump into the right mentors or allies.
DO look for smaller, well-organized groups like industry workshops or company volunteer committees where you can work together naturally.
“As a reserved person, I found it uncomfortable to go around pitching my skills. Instead, I focused on writing. Every two weeks, I posted a short summary on our corporate intranet explaining how I used a software shortcut to fix our team’s data variance. A director from another division saw my updates, reached out to praise my method, and later invited me to join his team for a project management role. My writing opened that door.”
DON’T think that being charismatic in real-time conversations is the only way to get your ideas noticed or build your reputation.
DO use professional digital platforms to share your writing, explain data, and post project takeaways at your own pace.
How do you interact best with others? What’s one low-pressure setting (like a one-on-one coffee chat or a small committee meeting) where you feel most comfortable opening up and connecting?
Integrate these professional strategies into your workflow—whether you’re refining your own work or coaching your team or clients.